About Stuff

About T.R.O.A.M.M.

Aside from having an obscene number of periods, T.R.O.A.M.M. stands for “The Ramblings of a Mad Man”. It remains a collection of free-flowing thought pieces that range from the absurd to the introspective to the whiny.¬†At one time, I wrote everything without planning or editing. Whatever came out, when the fingers hit the keys, is what you saw. I’ve since changed that. I want this page to represent more of who I am. Why should you care about that? Well, as this page will tell you, I have a pretty sweet beard. If that’s not a reason for you to read on, I’ve got nothing.

About The Author

Chris Lawton was born a woman. He didn’t have girl parts, or anything, but he spent the first half of his life being called “girl” by the other kids at school, so he accepted it, and moved on. Admittedly, he’s not very bright.

Still, he loves to write, and collect comic books, and play video games. And you should all respect him for that. Or, at least, you should respect him a little. You know, before you throw stuff at him.

He dreams of someday being a real boy. He also has a beard to die for, which tends to make him a very odd-looking woman.

About Chris Lawton’s Beard

-Chris Lawton’s beard once killed a man, with love.
-Chris Lawton’s beard is old enough to remember the earth’s formation, yet not so old, he can’t relate to the youth.
-Chris Lawton’s beard is 90-percent testosterone, and 10-percent hair.
-Chris Lawton’s beard once ushered in world peace. You just don’t remember it, because you were dazzled by its gloriousness.
-Chris Lawton’s beard is watching you. Right now.

What People are Saying About Chris Lawton

“Give me a dollar!” – A Bum On The Street
“He should clean his room.” – His Mom.
“What? Ew. No. Yuck. Get away.” – Woman at Bar