Playstation Classic Line-up – Seriously?!

by Christopher David Lawton

Backlogs aside, I know the reason you come to this site is the kind of hard-hitting journalism that other sites won’t give you. We ask the real questions here at Troamm.com, the questions other sites are too scared to ask. With all that said, I read over the list of games available on the upcoming Playstation Classic and I’m left with a simple question: Seriously?!

Guys, this list is a real travesty. Oh sure, there are some gems on this list, like Twisted Metal 1, which we all know is superior to all of the sequels, and Battle Arena Toshinden, which is not at all a forgettable fighting game, Chad. But, guys, where’s the Bubsy?

Sure, Metal Gear Solid set the standard for stealth action games, and Siphon Filter is a pretty good action game, I guess. But, no Bubsy? What Playstation Classics line-up is complete without Bubsy 3d, the greatest 3d platformer of the PS1/Saturn/N64 generation?

Where’s. The. Bubsy.

I’m calling for a boycott of the Playstation Classic until this gross oversight is corrected. No Bubsy, No Purchase! Guys, the graphics on this game may not be the best by any means, and really, the graphics may not be what the plebes call “good.” But, real gamers know that graphics don’t mean shit. Bubsy offers a science-fiction epic story contained within a fully-realized 3d sandbox. Talk about open-world action? Bubsy 3d‘s got it!

And sheer platforming? Bubsy’s got you covered. Super Mario 64? Super Mario Who? The Bubsy platforming is difficult, but we all know that that’s what real gamers want. We want frustration, we want a struggle, it makes the victory all the sweeter. And in this instance, Bubsy is as sweet as the pixie sticks I pour into my Mountain Dew.

No Bubsy, No Purchase!

Let’s be real. We’re all adult gamers here. We don’t want any of that kiddie stuff. We want real, we want attitude. And Bubsy is the dude with the ‘tude. If his exclamation point shirt weren’t enough, Bubsy has such amazing catchphrases in this game as “I knew I should have taken that left turn at Uranus!” and “Ah, one stop shopping!” Take that Mario, with your “woo-hoos!” and “ya-hoos!” Ya-hoo isn’t even a real word. It’s not in the dictionary, I checked.

I’m so tired of the bum rap that Bubsy 3d gets when people consider the Playstation library. Objectively, Bubsy 3d is better than Final Fantasy VIIMetal Gear Solid, and Tekken 3 combined. It’s objective, don’t question it. Facts don’t care about your feelings.

Now, I’m not unreasonable. I get it. There are only 20 slots available on this console, and everyone’s going to have at least one game they want to see on the list that won’t be there. But, no one else’s choice is as great a travesty as mine. My objective opinions are literally being ignored! Sony, as a loyal customer, I call on you right now to make this happen. Make. This. Right!

No Bubsy, No Purchase!