Outside, snow is falling. It looks gorgeous, as it settles to the ground. Somewhere inside, my heater starts clanking. Smoke drifts in from the vents. Flashing lights, and a blaze on the horizon. The fight is long, but I’m safe. The same can’t be said for my house. For, now, inside, snow is falling.
When I die, I want my last words to be something profound, like “With each passing breath, we move one step closer to the great unknown, that is the afterlife.” But, I know better. My last words will probably be, “Are you going to eat that last pizza roll?”
I hope when I die, that I go out in a totally awesome way. We all say that, but I’m not sure people know what it actually means. I want to go down, in a hail of gunfire, while I’m protecting some life-giving medicine… Meanwhile, as my eyes are slowly closing… I reach out to … Continue reading “On Death”
I stood behind a guy in line for a greasy cheeseburger at the County Fair His skin was thickened leather, and his voice, a remainder of countless cigarettes. Everything he talked about was a son’a’bitch. This was a son’a’bitch. That was a son’a’bitch. He ordered his cheeseburger, and now he was waiting for the son’a’bitch. … Continue reading “Son’a’Bitch — An Allegorical Tale”
If I could emulate any celebrity, it’d be David Hasslehoff – circa Baywatch Nights. The man knew how to wear a suit. And fight werewolves. Man, that show was awesome.
Blood spills out into the street, accompanied by life. How can this happen, they scream Their voices echo into the starry night above. ‘Because,’ the stars return, ‘your souls are dark. And without My light, they fester.’
Dear Amazon.com, Selling Modern Warfare 2 for $59.99 on Cyber-Monday is not a “special deal”. Everywhere sells it for $59.99, every day. You’ve just sold it for normal price. Does this sort of thing ever work?
When I can’t get any lower… When I think I’ve hit the bottom… When I’m convinced things can’t get any worse… Jesus Christ, Your love floors me.
The hot tub at the hotel is not hot. The heating mechanism is out. This really makes it more of a “tepid tub”. And that’s just a terrible way to sell a hotel room.
Lines, Lines and More Lines. Car is parked, door is open. Screw you, Black Friday. —-It’s a haiku.