Cyber-Monday
Dear Amazon.com, Selling Modern Warfare 2 for $59.99 on Cyber-Monday is not a “special deal”. Everywhere sells it for $59.99, every day. You’ve just sold it for normal price. Does this sort of thing ever work?
On Love.
When I can’t get any lower… When I think I’ve hit the bottom… When I’m convinced things can’t get any worse… Jesus Christ, Your love floors me.
The “Hot Tub”…
The hot tub at the hotel is not hot. The heating mechanism is out. This really makes it more of a “tepid tub”. And that’s just a terrible way to sell a hotel room.
Blackest of Fridays…
Lines, Lines and More Lines. Car is parked, door is open. Screw you, Black Friday. —-It’s a haiku.
On Thanksgiving…
I often wonder if turkeys fear Thanksgiving. If, when September rolls around, they begin to sweat. They look at a calendar, their eyes glazing over. They look into the future, and all they see is a roaster. I think about this sort of thing a lot. And then I put the piece of turkey in … Continue reading “On Thanksgiving…”
A Fashion Statement
I sometimes wish I had horns on my face. Not for some religious reason, or anything. I just think it would be awesome to walk down the street and hear everyone say, “Hey, that guy has horns on his face.”